1. Outlining an essay
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Topic Sentence: The positive effects of globalization on public
transportation i eIndonesia
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Supporting sentence 1: The new public transportation Indonesia have.
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Supporting sentence 2: The cultures of passengers has changed by globalization
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Supporting sentence 3: The payment method e-money or cashless.
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Concluding sentence: The positive effects of globalization on
Indonesia’s public transportation have a good effect but need time to blend
in with the Indonesian people’s habits
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2. My Essay
In General globalization
is an integration international that happen because of exchange of world view,
product, idea, and other aspect on other cultures. The progress of
transportation and telecommunications infrastructure is a major factor in
globalization which increasingly encourages the interdependence of economic and
cultural activities. As what it said, globalization is effecting on public
transportation and Indonesia society. Such as; new public transportation, condition
and reaction from Indonesia society, payment method e-money or cashless.
In
Indonesia, public transportation is a passenger transportation services by
group travel systems that are available for use by the general public. New
public transportation in Indonesia are: Rail Link, TransJakarta, KRL
commuterline, Jakarta MRT, and soon greater Jakarta LRT. This kind of public
transportation in Indonesia is to minimalizing and efficiently by what
Indonesia people needed and improve Indonesia economic.
Even
this kind new public transportation is available, Indonesia society is need to
adapting to it. For example some Indonesia people when entering the
transportation like a train or busway is crammed and lettering in public
places, different like advanced foreign country that has following the
globalization in using public transportation to line up, follow the rules and
maintain cleanliness of public places.
It
also effect on how do we to pay the transportation itself, to be more efficient
and simple and doesn’t need to wasting time waiting in line to pay for tickets
to use the transportation with money or go to the ticket provider service. We
can do directly buy it from website and application. For example of this kind
method is Rail Link. Rail Link is an airport rail link service
in Greater Jakarta, Indonesia.
To do reservation by online is go to the link https://reservation.railink.co.id/
and show reservation method and follow the steps. Then use method to pay, there
are several payment method by go to ATM or mobile E-banking. And also if we
ride train or busway TransJakarta we only use a card, this is also kind of
cashless or e-money.
After all the effect of
globalization on public transportation in Indonesia have a good impact, because
is minimalizing and efficiently by what Indonesia society needed and improve
Indonesia Economic. Indonesa society must use cultures such as advanced foreign
countries using, line up neatly, follow the rules and maintain clean use of
public places. It also effect on how do we to pay the transportation itself, to
be more efficient and simple and doesn’t need to wasting time waiting in line
to pay for tickets to use the transportation with money or go to the ticket
provider service. We can do directly buy it from website and application, also
paid it cashless or e-money and by use a card with transportation that uses
this system.
I am so appreciate your essay but for betterment that u can fix it again because your essay still general too. Thank you, have a nice day
ReplyDeleteHi, i think your essay more than 250-300 words, haven't used time phrases and academic verbs. To make it better, you can fix it hehe. Good work!
ReplyDeleteI think your essay still general. And i think you can fix it and make it more better
ReplyDeleteHai miftah, what a good essay. however, in my opinion you may fix some mistake in your essay. Like paragraph 1 "other aspect'' you can change "another aspect" and Paragraph 2 ''commuterline" i think "commuter line''. And you can find other mistake, good job miftah
ReplyDeleteI think your essay more than 300 words, but overall I think your essay is good
ReplyDeleteHi Miftah, it's a nice topic but i think your essay more than 300 words, and your essay still too general.
ReplyDeleteIts a good essay and topic. Good job!!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWow!! Im so excited to read your essay. Good job miftha:))
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteWawwwww, What a great topic and a very clear outline you made!!!
Haii, it’s good essay. But i think you haven’t use time phrases and academic words. And your essay is more than 250-300 word. To make it better, you can add it and may you check it again. Good job!!!
ReplyDeleteMy revised Essay:
ReplyDelete2. My Essay
In General globalization is an integration international that happen because of exchange of world view, product, idea, and other aspect on other cultures. The progress of transportation and telecommunications infrastructure is a major factor in globalization which increasingly encourages the interdependence of economic and cultural activities. As what it said, globalization has changes positive effect on public transportation and Indonesia society which are a new public transportation, The cultures of passengers has changed by globalization, payment method e-money or cashless.
Nowadays in Indonesia, public transportation become more reliable and efficient because the new public transportation can be integrated system with each other. It can made easier the passengers to do activities. Then, the integrated system can reduce the wasting time that passengers faced before new transportation has emerged.
Second, the cultures of passengers has changed by globalization. As we seen that cultures of Indonesian people has impolite. For example some Indonesia people when they enter the public transportation, they do littering and crammed. It’s different with upper country because they follow to line up, the rules and keep maintain cleanliness of public places.
Third, we adopt a new payment method that we called as cashless or e-money. While this method has published, the people are very welcoming the new method because e-money method can help us to made efficiency and accurate data. Then, cashless can give easier because we just need top up in everywhere that we want to charge.
In Summary, the positive effect of globalization on public transportation in Indonesia can giving positive on their activities, the Indonesian cultures, and payment methods. As we seen that the Indonesia people are very anthusiam to facing a new public transportation because a new transportation can be integrated with each other which are MRT,KRL,Busway. The new transportation can make easier the people to do their activities, it’s important that because the new transportation will giving efficient and reduce wasting time. All those of major positive effect has changes caused by globalization.
hi mifta, i’ve read your essay and i found it was a very good essay! the way you choose your sentences makes the readers especially me undestood, and it was very good because you put the time phares according to period of the time. Good job
ReplyDeletegreat essay good job
ReplyDelete